Go West, Young Man!

Summer is finally here and with it the nice, sunny weather and long days.  We've had a good bit of rain, to which is nice.  Our little short school break was full of moving (across town), a Bible training session for Hetee and I in UB and a Music/worship seminar here in Darkhan.  Any extra minutes I could spare were spent working to finish an online course I'm taking to become a certified ESL teacher.  I'm not finished yet but I'm in the home stretch!  

In other, quite strange and sudden news, we are planning on being in the States at the end of this year.  It's funny, going to the States and visiting friends and family has long been a faraway, sort of unattainable dream for some time and when I imagined telling the news of our visit on my blog, I imagined it with more exclamation points.  I imagined it with a sense of calm excitement that comes from having our trip, money and itinerary all figured and mapped out. 

But, we don't.  We began to feel God's nudge in this direction and we've started walking but, for me at the moment it's all a bit scary. Scary because I don't know if or when we'll make it to Louisiana to see my family and friends there.  Scary because of our shaky finances.  Scary because it's America and I don't feel very American. 

Our journey has not yet begun, but I have decided to document it here, as best as I can, for other TCKs (Third Culture Kids) who may be in need of reading about someone else who doesn't have it all figured out.  As always, happy to please. Plus, I'm pretty sure that spilling my guts will have the pleasant side effect of making me feel better.  You know, getting it all out, and everything.  

I feel lost when it comes to living in America but at the same time I feel drawn there because I have family there.  Family and friends who are, to my children, like characters in a fairy tale.  I long for the connection to be made.  To see, talk to and be with family.  For my kids to play with their cousins and meet their Aunts and Uncles.  

The thing that scares me most, the thing that I struggle with every day but never blogged about is that my siblings and I haven't talked in several years.  For a long time it was on and off, but for the past 2 years or so it's been just mostly off. 

Things have happened between them and between them and my parents. I've been told many times that it has nothing to do with me but I'm not so sure about that.I'm pretty sure I crossed a line when I moved to the other side of the world.

My older two siblings and I parted when I was about 7.  They were much older and made their choice to stay in the States when my parents moved us to Mexico.  I was very close to my other sister who is 3 years older than me and lived with us until we made the move to Mongolia when I was 17.  

I haven't seen my family in the US in 10 years.  In a way, Mongolia has become my comfort zone.  The place I have found family.  A safe place where I don't have to deal with the rejection I have been feeling for so many years.  

Yet, I'm finding that I can't escape from wanting to feel the love and acceptance of those 3 people, way on the other side of the world.  I also know that without a miracle, I will never get it. 

I see my siblings in myself and in my children. When I look at Nate, I see my brother.  When we play cards he talks like Damian used to.  He teases his sisters like Damian used to tease me.  He likes ice cold milk on a hot day, just like Damian. 

Abi is left-handed, just like her Aunt Leah.  She loves animals like Leah.

Kenny, so like Leah,  laughs so hard he can't stand up.  If he's eating or drinking, you don't want to say anything funny or it'll be all over the table.  

When I look in the mirror, I see Jennifer.  And I miss her. 

I long to be happy and whole, even if we don't live close together.  I wonder if we'll ever be in the same room again.  If we'll ever have a family photo taken.  Life seems way to short to wander about this for too long so, if you think about it, please lift up our family in prayer.

I don't mean to hurt or isolate anyone in any way by writing my thoughts out on my blog.  I hope that the words that are written here can bring healing or, at the very least, help me process the many changes Hetee, the kids and I  will be going through over the next few months. 

Homeschool

Lately I've been giving the subject of year round homeschooling a lot of thought.  Growing up we always homeschooled year round with just a short break in the summer, from what I can remember.  We always had birthdays and most holidays off and we never took our textbooks with us when we traveled (which we did a lot of!).  I liked it, most of the time.  I think that being the type of learner that I am, had we taken long breaks in the summer I would have had to spend a lot of time reviewing, and the time spent reviewing coupled with the 3 summer months off of school would have pushed me further behind every year.  I think schooling all throughout the year sounds ambitious but in reality it's the easiest choice.  Since we're going all year round our daily school load is lessened and so is the pressure to finish the curriculum within a certain time frame.

One of the main reasons behind our decision to school year round is that living in Mongolia, the winter months are really long and we tend to get cabin fever when we're bent over our desks for too long.  I prefer to be baking or reading and the kids prefer to play with Legos, building forts or ice skating etc.  So last winter we took about 3 weeks off of school to just do our own things to help us get through the month of January, which seems to be by far the longest month of the year!

Right now the kids are focusing on finishing their current text books and then we'll take about a 2 week break.  Hetee and I will be teaching English again soon so this break will give us time to do our lesson plans and preparations.  Also I hope to find some time to work on my online course assignments (one can hope, right?)  Over the summer months we'll probably have days off here and there, just because.  Also we have a few holidays and birthdays all throughout the summer. 

Things we will be focusing on over the next few months:
Memorization: Poetry, scripture, and the books of the Bible.
Copy work to improve handwriting.  Our leftie needs it!
Alone reading time. (We read every night as a family)

Anybody else out there doing similar things?  If you have any advice or input we'd love to hear from you!

Yard $ale!

Once or twice a year we have a church-wide yard sale where we sell donated items really, really cheap and use the money to help the poor or a local missionary family. Besides raising money for these special Helps Ministry projects, it's also a great chance for the less fortunate in our congregation (and in many cases, believers from other churches as well) to buy things like clothes, school supplies and toys for at very affordable prices.  I'm always a bit nervous doing something like this since the idea of selling used items at a yard sale is a pretty Western idea.  But, although the idea may be new to some people we've found that the Mongolian believers really like yard sales, especially the women.  I've said it before and I'll say it again -- women are the same the world over when it comes to saving a buck, and in the case of the Body of Christ, when it comes to helping someone in need.    

So today was yard sale day and we were blessed with a great outcome! 

Our fabulous Helps Ministry team!

Today they turned this...

This...

This...

And this...

Into this, a big pile of cash (ok, so it wasn't that big) with which to bless our  Erdenet church  leaders.  They are a young couple, with 3 small boys and can really use the help.  It's such a blessing to be a part of Christ's body!

2.5 Years of Birdie

I have a very busy toddler.  In fact I haven't seen such business around here since Nate, our oldest, was little.

Capturing Eva's attention is difficult and if you do manage to make eye contact maintaining the connection is nearly impossible.  Sometimes, when I see the difficulties her brother has today paying attention during desk work, I shutter to think that in a few years I'll have another one come along and challenge my patience all over again.  They are two peas in a pod, those two. 

It's amazing to see the polar opposites Eva can reach in a matter of minutes.  She changes from an independent  child who claims she can do everything from dressing herself to pottying alone,  to a whiny baby who declares that she can't do anything at all, even walk--all at the drop of a hat.

She has a toddler table with 2 little plastic chairs but these days she prefers to sit at the big table, on a big chair even though that means she'll probably fall off before mealtime is through.  It means more spills, interruptions and clean-ups.  And don't try to sit someone else at her little table.  She'll get angry and let you know that "Gamma and Gampa" gave her that table and it belongs to her.  Nevermind that she doesn't want to sit at it.  It's the principle involved, you know. And besides, who wants to feel like they're in exile during mealtime?  All alone, apart from the bustling family table where obviously they have better food and conversation. 

Yesterday there was a glimmer of hope.  The child who has never sat through more than 5 minutes of any children's DVD, asked me to read her a book.  I had started reading to her at nap time a few weeks ago and I guess it sort of grew on her.  But reading was something she associated with sleeping so she had never asked me to read a book to her at any other time.

But yesterday, out of the blue, she brought me a book to read.  We read the little book and she got up and brought another one.  She sat through half of that one before she decided she had better things to do.  But still, I had her attention for all of 14 minutes or so.  It was encouraging, to say the least.

Birdie, busily playing with my phone before it gets snatched and put on a high, (high as in way up where she has no hopes of reaching it) shelf. 

April Ministry Update

Dear Friends,

We are happy to update you all on the things God is doing through Christian Fellowship in Mongolia. 

Church:

The children’s ministry leaders recently took a few of the older children from children’s church to minister in nearby Selenge.  The team ministered God’s love to the children there and handed out Samaritan’s Purse gifts. 

On March 7 had a women’s network meeting and over 80 women attended.  Melanie spoke and they spent time in fellowship.  Most of these women are regular members of the church.  Some of these ladies are praying for unsaved husbands and children to come to God.  Please join us in praying for complete families to come to Christ. 

The youth meet regularly once a week and they are really growing.  Almost every week they have new people.  God is really using dramas and music to touch them. 

Countryside Works:

This month we are looking forward to meeting with all of our countryside leaders.  We are currently gearing up to make some changes in the Selenge church.  A young family from  Darkhan has asked to go and serve the church in Selenge.  They have 2 small children and are expecting again.  Please pray for them, Ganbold and Saraa. 

Darkhan Pastors’ Forum:

God has allowed Hetee to be chairman of the Pastors’ forum in our city for the past 4 years.  There are about 27 pastor/leader members and we come together once a month or so to encourage and build one another up.  These churches partner with each other and along with World Vision in various outreaches and activities.  We are praying for even more unity within the body of Christ in Darkhan and in Mongolia. It is amazing to see Darkhan’s churches working together as one body. We are currently arranging a youth conference for the northern region of Mongolia. Please pray for the Holy Spirit touch young peoples’ heart to change the communities.

TV ministry:

In January Hetee finished recording a 26 part series on “Who is Jesus” for television.  It took over 6 months to record.  The series is being broadcasted by Eagle TV and can be viewed in most cities throughout Mongolia.  So far, the ratings have been very high and we’ve gotten a lot of positive feedback. 

Prison ministry:

Since January, every Wednesday we have been sending a team to the local prison.  About 30 inmates regularly attend the weekly Bible teachings.  Our team has found favor with the guards and administrators of the prison.  With God’s help we have been able to donate 2 computers to their work. 

Thank you for your prayers and support.  God bless you!

Prayer requests:

• For a minivan for the church.  We have many elderly members who live out of the way so we are praying to purchase a small van that we could use to bring them to service.  
• For our health.  Melanie and I have both been battling exhaustion and we really need to be refreshed by God. 
• For God's direction and leading.  Please pray that we are able to hear His voice and obey what He would have us do.  

Hetee and Melanie

Filling The Days

With the arrival of the warmer weather the kids are now able to play and ride their bikes outside for a few hours every day.  This gives us all the break we need--from each other and from school work.  On a typical day desk work takes from 3-5 hours.  The 4th grader and 2nd grader are only "officially" doing 3 subjects: Math, Language Arts and History/Geography.  Things like Bible, reading and handwriting are done on the side and throughout the day.  Kenny, who will be 6 this summer, is doing pre-reading activities, math and handwriting activities about 3 days a week. 

We really don't have that much of a school work load.  I like to keep it simple, since this is our first year of homeschooling exclusively.  The fact is, if Nate...ahem...one particular 4th grade student spent as much time doing his work as he spends making excuses and elaborate schemes to get out of doing his work, we'd be done before lunchtime every day.  But then how else would I die to my flesh?  Every. Single. Day?

Since I'm not teaching English part time at the moment, I have more time to spend training the kids in working around the house.  Just about all our meals have to be made from scratch here and, as a result, I spend more hours in the kitchen.  I estimate that meal preparation (meals, snacks, baking) takes me about 3-4 hours a day. And that's with a helper helping out 5 days a week. My goal is to get the kids helping more and more and not have to rely to paying someone to help around the apartment.  At the moment I can't imagine not having her--she is a sweet friend and a tremendous help.  But I've got to get the kids trained and that just won't happen as long as we have someone else to do the job. 

Imparting the necessary skills to my children is not easy and can be so overwhelming some days.  I'd appreciate your prayers for Hetee and I for wisdom in this area. 

Until next time!

Marching On

After an almost 1 year long hiatus from blogging I am happy to say that I have returned, hopefully a better writer and more faithful poster than before.  The past year has been full-- full of work, full of ups and downs and all the things that make up life around here.  It has been my most challenging year so far, as a child of God and as a wife living in a foreign land.  The things that have taken place over the past 20 months or so have turned me into a bit of an introvert. This past winter, my 13th consecutive one in Mongolia, was especially trying.  There were many times I just couldn't see the point in hanging on, much less blogging about my situation.  The freezing temperatures along with the spiritual lessons I was going through were enough to send me to the funny farm a few times over.  The only thing I was sure of was as long as day turned into night and back into day again, Spring would come. 

And it has.  With the arrival of Spring I feel as though some of the weight has lifted.  The trials come and go, but through it all I have the promise that, if I let them, these troubles will produce that Perfect Patience James talks about. 

One thing I have learned is not to compare my hardships with those of anyone else.  Many times we ignore our own pains and hurts because we compare them with those of someone else who has it much harder than we do (especially true for those of us living in a foreign country).  I've learned that my trials and troubles are mine and they are happening to produce patience in me.  At the same time I shouldn't be so wrapped up in my own suffering that I stop caring about others.  This has been hard as my life and ministry (to my family and to my church) seem to have merged into being one and the same. 

Through it all, Jesus, the Good Shepherd leads me.