Last night we had a pretty comical game of Go Fish. We were trying to get Eva to play and speak in English. Nate and Abi had played with me and my English students before and they had seen how I have used the game to teach basic English phrases. We all thought it would do the trick to get Eva talking to us in English.
We were wrong.
Now that's she's 2 and a half, it obvious that Mongolian, NOT English, is her strong language. It's pretty amusing for the rest of us, especially since the older 3 have English as their strong language. And I do, too, obviously.
We do ok, though. We probably switch back and forth from one language to another a lot more since Eva started talking. She understands English pretty well, but sometimes she gets extra toddleresque when we use too much English.
And that's understandable. Language is linked strongly to feelings and that's why we like to let
our kids speak in any language they want, regardless of who we are with.
The only problem is that when I'm tired, my brain doesn't do the language thing very well. So at times when Eva is feeling particularly chatty and I need a break, I send her to the other Mongol in the house: her daddy. He doesn't mind. He's happy for the Mongolian-speaking company.
So, back to the game...for the tenth time I say slowly, "Eva, say, 'Nate do you have a frog?'"
She ponders.
She furrows her eyebrow.
She almost gives up.
Then she says, "Ummmmm. Nate, chamd frog baigam uu?"
Close enough.
Friday, June 29, 2012
Go West, Young Man!
Summer is finally here and with it the nice, sunny weather and long days. We've had a good bit of rain, to which is nice. Our little short school break was full of moving (across town), a Bible training session for Hetee and I in UB and a Music/worship seminar here in Darkhan. Any extra minutes I could spare were spent working to finish an online course I'm taking to become a certified ESL teacher. I'm not finished yet but I'm in the home stretch!
In other, quite strange and sudden news, we are planning on being in the States at the end of this year. It's funny, going to the States and visiting friends and family has long been a faraway, sort of unattainable dream for some time and when I imagined telling the news of our visit on my blog, I imagined it with more exclamation points. I imagined it with a sense of calm excitement that comes from having our trip, money and itinerary all figured and mapped out.
But, we don't. We began to feel God's nudge in this direction and we've started walking but, for me at the moment it's all a bit scary. Scary because I don't know if or when we'll make it to Louisiana to see my family and friends there. Scary because of our shaky finances. Scary because it's America and I don't feel very American.
Our journey has not yet begun, but I have decided to document it here, as best as I can, for other TCKs (Third Culture Kids) who may be in need of reading about someone else who doesn't have it all figured out. As always, happy to please. Plus, I'm pretty sure that spilling my guts will have the pleasant side effect of making me feel better. You know, getting it all out, and everything.
I feel lost when it comes to living in America but at the same time I feel drawn there because I have family there. Family and friends who are, to my children, like characters in a fairy tale. I long for the connection to be made. To see, talk to and be with family. For my kids to play with their cousins and meet their Aunts and Uncles.
The thing that scares me most, the thing that I struggle with every day but never blogged about is that my siblings and I haven't talked in several years. For a long time it was on and off, but for the past 2 years or so it's been just mostly off.
Things have happened between them and between them and my parents. I've been told many times that it has nothing to do with me but I'm not so sure about that.I'm pretty sure I crossed a line when I moved to the other side of the world.
My older two siblings and I parted when I was about 7. They were much older and made their choice to stay in the States when my parents moved us to Mexico. I was very close to my other sister who is 3 years older than me and lived with us until we made the move to Mongolia when I was 17.
I haven't seen my family in the US in 10 years. In a way, Mongolia has become my comfort zone. The place I have found family. A safe place where I don't have to deal with the rejection I have been feeling for so many years.
Yet, I'm finding that I can't escape from wanting to feel the love and acceptance of those 3 people, way on the other side of the world. I also know that without a miracle, I will never get it.
I see my siblings in myself and in my children. When I look at Nate, I see my brother. When we play cards he talks like Damian used to. He teases his sisters like Damian used to tease me. He likes ice cold milk on a hot day, just like Damian.
Abi is left-handed, just like her Aunt Leah. She loves animals like Leah.
Kenny, so like Leah, laughs so hard he can't stand up. If he's eating or drinking, you don't want to say anything funny or it'll be all over the table.
When I look in the mirror, I see Jennifer. And I miss her.
I long to be happy and whole, even if we don't live close together. I wonder if we'll ever be in the same room again. If we'll ever have a family photo taken. Life seems way to short to wander about this for too long so, if you think about it, please lift up our family in prayer.
I don't mean to hurt or isolate anyone in any way by writing my thoughts out on my blog. I hope that the words that are written here can bring healing or, at the very least, help me process the many changes Hetee, the kids and I will be going through over the next few months.
In other, quite strange and sudden news, we are planning on being in the States at the end of this year. It's funny, going to the States and visiting friends and family has long been a faraway, sort of unattainable dream for some time and when I imagined telling the news of our visit on my blog, I imagined it with more exclamation points. I imagined it with a sense of calm excitement that comes from having our trip, money and itinerary all figured and mapped out.
But, we don't. We began to feel God's nudge in this direction and we've started walking but, for me at the moment it's all a bit scary. Scary because I don't know if or when we'll make it to Louisiana to see my family and friends there. Scary because of our shaky finances. Scary because it's America and I don't feel very American.
Our journey has not yet begun, but I have decided to document it here, as best as I can, for other TCKs (Third Culture Kids) who may be in need of reading about someone else who doesn't have it all figured out. As always, happy to please. Plus, I'm pretty sure that spilling my guts will have the pleasant side effect of making me feel better. You know, getting it all out, and everything.
I feel lost when it comes to living in America but at the same time I feel drawn there because I have family there. Family and friends who are, to my children, like characters in a fairy tale. I long for the connection to be made. To see, talk to and be with family. For my kids to play with their cousins and meet their Aunts and Uncles.
The thing that scares me most, the thing that I struggle with every day but never blogged about is that my siblings and I haven't talked in several years. For a long time it was on and off, but for the past 2 years or so it's been just mostly off.
Things have happened between them and between them and my parents. I've been told many times that it has nothing to do with me but I'm not so sure about that.I'm pretty sure I crossed a line when I moved to the other side of the world.
My older two siblings and I parted when I was about 7. They were much older and made their choice to stay in the States when my parents moved us to Mexico. I was very close to my other sister who is 3 years older than me and lived with us until we made the move to Mongolia when I was 17.
I haven't seen my family in the US in 10 years. In a way, Mongolia has become my comfort zone. The place I have found family. A safe place where I don't have to deal with the rejection I have been feeling for so many years.
Yet, I'm finding that I can't escape from wanting to feel the love and acceptance of those 3 people, way on the other side of the world. I also know that without a miracle, I will never get it.
I see my siblings in myself and in my children. When I look at Nate, I see my brother. When we play cards he talks like Damian used to. He teases his sisters like Damian used to tease me. He likes ice cold milk on a hot day, just like Damian.
Abi is left-handed, just like her Aunt Leah. She loves animals like Leah.
Kenny, so like Leah, laughs so hard he can't stand up. If he's eating or drinking, you don't want to say anything funny or it'll be all over the table.
When I look in the mirror, I see Jennifer. And I miss her.
I long to be happy and whole, even if we don't live close together. I wonder if we'll ever be in the same room again. If we'll ever have a family photo taken. Life seems way to short to wander about this for too long so, if you think about it, please lift up our family in prayer.
I don't mean to hurt or isolate anyone in any way by writing my thoughts out on my blog. I hope that the words that are written here can bring healing or, at the very least, help me process the many changes Hetee, the kids and I will be going through over the next few months.
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