About 3 months ago I was contacted by a German woman who works with a group at a university in Berlin doing research for a book soon to be published about international families. They asked if they could interview me and I said "sure!".
I thought it would be fun to post the interview here on my blog, for our friends to see. I'm sorry it took so long to get to this. It was around that time that
I discovered Pinterest we moved across town and things got really busy. (Both versions are true.)
1. What do you think
is most challenging being a mom/dad in modern times?
I
think that at this time in Mongolia and in many other places in the world, the
economy is not very good so both parents are forced to work. Even mothers
with very young children are forced to leave them to the care of others while
they work hard to help provide for their family’s needs. IMO it is hard
--nearly impossible to parent effectively while working a fulltime job.
Those moms that are stay-at-home moms, who raise their children themselves and
don’t rely on daycare are rare but the children tend to be happier and a lot
better trained.
2. Could you tell me
something about your birth experiences? Did you have a natural birth?
My oldest son was born in hospital in the capital city,
Ulaan Baatar. The soviet style hospital and harshness of the doctors
made me feel very strongly about not birthing in a Mongolian hospital
again. At that time I didn’t know much about homebirth but over the
months following my son’s birth I began reading more and more about it.
When I became pregnant with our second child, my husband (who is Mongolian) and
I sat in a Bradley Birth class (I would strongly recommend this to all
expecting couples!) and decided that we would have a homebirth. Since
that first home birth we have had 2 more babies and one miscarriage, all at
home with no medical care or intervention. It can be done!
3. What do you wish
for your kids? What kind of personalities do you want them to be?
I want my 4 kids to develop the personality they were
born with. They all differ from one another and have their own special
identity. I want to cultivate it and help them develop other good
characteristics such as, being loyal, honest, friendly, hardworking, obedient
and respectful to others.
4. How would you
define your parenting style? Are you strict, more relaxed...?
I think I am relaxed compared to say, my previous
generation but when compared to my peers I am probably more strict. But
once my kids know the rules and everything is clear and set, then we can all
relax and have a lot of fun.
5. What do you think
is a good father/ a good mother?
I believe
that a good mother/father is one who knows their weaknesses but is not a victim
to them. We must always try to rise above our struggles in order to be a
good example for our children. I also think that a good mother is womanly
and teaches her daughters how to be a woman of grace and teaches her sons how
to respect and care for the women in their lives. A good father
teaches his boys to love their mother and respect her, through his own
conduct. He teaches his daughters what they should expect from a
man. He protects and cares for his children, not just with material things
but emotionally as well. And he doesn’t always have to have everything
figured out. =)
6. Are you happy with
the day care system and schooling in your country?
We’ve never relied on the daycare system in
Mongolia. All our babies are kept at home where am the primary
caregiver. This kind of lifestyle is not common here but it is catching
on and we now have many friends who choose not to send their kids to daycare
and make the necessary lifestyle changes to support their decision. Our 2
oldest children went to Mongolian schools off and on but we encountered many
frustrations with the school system. Many of the teachers were educated
during communism or under the still-present communist system. We just
weren’t compatible with that. We are a happy homeschooling family
now. It’s not always easy but we manage.
7. How important is
it for you to experience nature with your kids?
I
am not a nature person, really but living in Mongolia, it’s practically
impossible to “miss” nature, as it’s all around us! Everywhere we go
there’s the vast steppe, full of huge herds of horses, camels, yak , sheep and
goats roaming about. The big, blue sky is ever present and we enjoy
picnics by the river all throughout the summer.
8. Do you think that
being a teenager (you probably know some of them:-) is a troubling time? If
yes, why?
I’m not an expert but I tend to think
that it’s because teenagers struggle to find their own identity apart from
their parents but they still haven’t decided what to throw out and what to take
along into adulthood. If the parents are diligent in their teaching and
discipline, however, teenagers can feel more secure and open with their parents
during this time of maturing. And even if they do stray for a while, they
will have a good foundation to fall back upon.
9. What do you
think: Does the culture/country you are living in have a friendly attitude
towards kids?
Most Mongolian would say they
love children but still, the country has a very high abortion rate. The
main atmosphere here is one of “children are a bother”, and sadly, children
often get pushed onto someone else to be raised and cared for. Of course,
this is not the case in every home. There are many wonderful, loving
Mongolian families. But it’s so sad to see that children abandoned by
their parents as they seek a “better” life (usually through a high paying job
away from their family or even in another country) becoming the norm.
10.What could be done to
improve the situation for children?
I think
that Jesus is the only solution. When parents get to know the Heavenly
Father and His Word it gives us and our children hope in a dark world of child
abuse, sex trafficking and many other horrors children often face.
11. What kind of
experiences do you have being a parent in another culture?
I think it just depends on who I’m dealing with, like if
it’s someone from church or relatives it’s usually very fulfilling. For
the most part I have the unique opportunity to teach and encourage other young
mothers who are struggling with parenting issues. But some days can be
hard, especially dealing with nosy taxi drivers or strangers staring at us in
the street. They all have something to say and usually it’s not very
tactful.
12.
What values did your parents teach you? What are your memories of your
childhood?
I think that the main value my
parents taught me was to be bold and not follow the crowd. Because they
homeschooled me for more than 10 years, they also taught me I was worth the
investment of time. This did volumes for my confidence, especially in trying
times. I know my parents love me because I know how big a commitment
homeschooling is. Their guidance has brought me to where I am
today.
My memories of my childhood…there are so many! We lived
several years in Mexico and so this has influenced me so much. My fondest
memories are of traveling to and from Mexico, the anticipation of seeing
friends and relatives, and the time spent with my family in our big diesel
truck!
