Interview

About 3 months ago I was contacted by a German woman who works with a group at a university in Berlin doing research for a book soon to be published about international families.  They asked if they could interview me and I said "sure!". 

I thought it would be fun to post the interview here on my blog, for our friends to see.  I'm sorry it took so long to get to this.  It was around that time that I discovered Pinterest we moved across town and things got really busy.  (Both versions are true.)

1. What do you think is most challenging being a mom/dad in modern times?
I think that at this time in Mongolia and in many other places in the world, the economy is not very good so both parents are forced to work.  Even mothers with very young children are forced to leave them to the care of others while they work hard to help provide for their family’s needs.  IMO it is hard --nearly impossible to parent effectively while working a fulltime job.  Those moms that are stay-at-home moms, who raise their children themselves and don’t rely on daycare are rare but the children tend to be happier and a lot better trained. 

2. Could you tell me something about your birth experiences? Did you have a natural birth?   

My oldest son was born in hospital in the capital city, Ulaan  Baatar.  The soviet style hospital and harshness of the doctors made me feel very strongly about not birthing in a Mongolian hospital again.  At that time I didn’t know much about homebirth but over the months following my son’s birth I began reading more and more about it.  When I became pregnant with our second child, my husband (who is Mongolian) and I sat in a Bradley Birth class (I would strongly recommend this to all expecting couples!) and decided that we would have a homebirth.  Since that first home birth we have had 2 more babies and one miscarriage, all at home with no medical care or intervention.  It can be done!

3. What do you wish for your kids? What kind of personalities do you want them to be?

I want my 4 kids to develop the personality they were born with.  They all differ from one another and have their own special identity.  I want to cultivate it and help them develop other good characteristics such as, being loyal, honest, friendly, hardworking, obedient and respectful to others. 

4. How would you define your parenting style? Are you strict, more relaxed...?   

I think I am relaxed compared to say, my previous generation but when compared to my peers I am probably more strict.  But once my kids know the rules and everything is clear and set, then we can all relax and have a lot of fun.

5. What do you think is a good father/ a good mother?  

I believe that a good mother/father is one who knows their weaknesses but is not a victim to them.  We must always try to rise above our struggles in order to be a good example for our children.  I also think that a good mother is womanly and teaches her daughters how to be a woman of grace and teaches her sons how to respect and care for  the women in their lives.  A good father teaches his boys to love their mother and respect her, through his own conduct.  He teaches his daughters what they should expect from a man.  He protects and cares for his children, not just with material things but emotionally as well.  And he doesn’t always have to have everything figured out. =)  

6. Are you happy with the day care system and schooling in your country?

We’ve never relied on the daycare system in Mongolia.  All our babies are kept at home where am the primary caregiver.  This kind of lifestyle is not common here but it is catching on and we now have many friends who choose not to send their kids to daycare and make the necessary lifestyle changes to support their decision.  Our 2 oldest children went to Mongolian schools off and on but we encountered many frustrations with the school system.  Many of the teachers were educated during communism or under the still-present communist system.  We just weren’t compatible with that.  We are a happy homeschooling family now.  It’s not always easy but we manage. 

7. How important is it for you to experience nature with your kids?

I am not a nature person, really but living in Mongolia, it’s practically impossible to “miss” nature, as it’s all around us!  Everywhere we go there’s the vast steppe, full of huge herds of horses, camels, yak , sheep and goats roaming about.  The big, blue sky is ever present and we enjoy picnics by the river all throughout the summer. 

8. Do you think that being a teenager (you probably know some of them:-) is a troubling time? If yes, why?  

I’m not an expert but I tend to think that it’s because teenagers struggle to find their own identity apart from their parents but they still haven’t decided what to throw out and what to take along into adulthood.  If the parents are diligent in their teaching and discipline, however, teenagers can feel more secure and open with their parents during this time of maturing.  And even if they do stray for a while, they will have a good foundation to fall back upon. 

9. What do you think: Does the culture/country you are living in have a friendly attitude towards kids?   

Most Mongolian would say they love children but still, the country has a very high abortion rate.  The main atmosphere here is one of “children are a bother”, and sadly, children often get pushed onto someone else to be raised and cared for.  Of course, this is not the case in every home.  There are many wonderful, loving Mongolian families.  But it’s so sad to see that children abandoned by their parents as they seek a “better” life (usually through a high paying job away from their family or even in another country) becoming the norm. 

10.What could be done to improve the situation for children?  

I think that Jesus is the only solution.  When parents get to know the Heavenly Father and His Word it gives us and our children hope in a dark world of child abuse, sex trafficking and many other horrors children often face. 

11. What kind of experiences do you have being a parent in another culture? 

I think it just depends on who I’m dealing with, like if it’s someone from church or relatives it’s usually very fulfilling.  For the most part I have the unique opportunity to teach and encourage other young mothers who are struggling with parenting issues.  But some days can be hard, especially dealing with nosy taxi drivers or strangers staring at us in the street.  They all have something to say and usually it’s not very tactful.

12. What values did your parents teach you? What are your memories of your childhood?  

I think that the main value my parents taught me was to be bold and not follow the crowd.  Because they homeschooled me for more than 10 years, they also taught me I was worth the investment of time.  This did volumes for my confidence, especially in trying times.  I know my parents love me because I know how big a commitment homeschooling is.  Their guidance has brought me to where I am today. 

My memories of my childhood…there are so many!  We lived several years in Mexico and so this has influenced me so much.  My fondest memories are of traveling to and  from Mexico, the anticipation of seeing friends and relatives, and the time spent with my family in our big diesel truck!